let's go SUNTAN

Saturday, November 06, 2004

saw kelly's blog.. dun mean to read girl..

wanna cry so much..

called darling.. well.. supposed he's still my darling.. i wanna tell him.. i dun wanna fight anymore.. i wouldn't be so wilful anymore.. let's not fight anymore alright darling? i'll change for ur sake.. i will not forsake those memories.. i will not forsake us.. but darling.. u said u will call me later.. i guess.. u arent calling right.. look at the time now.. darling, do u need that long to reply my msgs or eat? darling, do u noe i've been living in misery everyday? i dunno what r we.. frens? couples? i dun like hanging there again..

history is starting to repeat again.. darling.. why? becuz i didnt put enough effort to prevent it? or u didnt put in any effort? darling.. u promised.. too mani promises kills.. u said u gonna gif me those love u've never given me before.. u said.. i'm ur everything.. how sweet dear.. how sweet.. when u wanted to break up.. did u tink of those promises?

how can i not worry? how can i not tink abt? who's wrong tis time? my fault? the previous time.. i admit.. i was too wilful.. i wanted to piss u.. i wanted to upset u for not showing enough care.. i wanted to show u that even though i'm attach.. i have suitors as well.. but darling.. the plan backfired.. u though i was showing off.. i never had that intention baby.. but.. u.. forsake our love.. fell in love with another girl.. how mani times have i been saying that? i might be able to forgive.. but i have never forget..

i noe every couples have their ups and downs.. i'm willing to go thru them again.. with u.. for ur sake.. that's how much u mean to me.. darling.. r u gonna dump me again? is that how much u love me? i kept saying.. i noe i can find someone better.. maybe.. a lot better.. but will i leave that person for u? (that person hasn't appear yet of cuz..)

i've been loving u for 4 yrs.. i'm still loving u.. some times.. i just amazed at myself.. and us.. despite the differences.. we can tolerate w each other for so long.. and loving each other for so long.. never had there been a day whereby i dun love u.. no matter how angry i am.. how upset.. i still love u..

too young to fall in love i guess.. tis is tiring baby.. u said.. u noe wat i've been doing for u.. den why arent u treating me better? i dun ask for a lot.. i will not.. i dun wan history to start repeating again.. i'm tired of that scene.. darling.. can i be the director of our story the next time round? how mani times do we have to patch and break before knowing that we're meant for each other? or is there such things as meant for each other?

amelia dear.. just like u.. i'm certain he's the one i wan.. but.. he onli seems certain at times.. guys..? what r u all tinking abt? is it true that.. u get tired of seeing the same old faces everyday?

i rather die.. den go thru all this shitty things again.. maybe i was wrong darling.. we shouldnt have patch.. we should have wait and see how things goes.. please dun come and tell me u yearn for singlehood.. please.. then.. my existence has been pointless..

todae.. met amelia dearie.. miss her so so much.. :) we should go out often.. despite knowing my dearie since sec1.. we only become best frens in sec3.. even though we've been best frens.. we rarely went out.. except once to da bugis and the other time to help me search for my prom dress~ amelia.. thanks for everything girl.. always my listener.. haha.. loyal listener wor.. heh.. shall go for another bikini hunt again.. ahah.. my god.. me tis kinda figure try bikini.. haha.. kinda.. i dunno.. but the experience was fun! heheh.. tk care of urself ok?

crystal dar.. thanks for ur concern.. i'll tk care of myself de.. i'm independent.. but i'm not strong enough to let go what's not mine.. i always have to learn it the hard way...

gonna start work soon.. that's a relief man..

looking out at 11/06/2004 11:46:00 PM