Friday, December 10, 2004
wow.
yesterdae came back abt 3+ in the morning. my god. and i have sch todae? -.-" went to try the route. no lesson until 6pm.. so i went to work in the morning but stop workin @ 1 becuz.. i kinda.. dun feel like doing any more? though i stil nid money to pay papa.. we chip in and bought the canon ixus 30.. wee.. heheh.. damn chiooo.. but damn ex alsoz.. though it's onli 3.2 mega pixel.. reach sch abt 6+.. crystal dar bought me jack jack hp holderrr!!! WOW!!! my gOoodddd!! it's outta stock alreadi @ east coAst.. hAhaha.. so it might mean that i have.. and my sis dun!! weeeee!! thanks dearieee.. such a sweetie.. hAhahaz.. finally reach east coast @ 8+.. cycle all da way to some.. area in bedok and have our dinner @ 9pm.. din noe we had to memorise the route.. damnz.. gonna lead da grp todae.. since i went yesterdae.. i wish i didnt.. now my legs.. nuMb.. and.. jeLLy-like.. hEhz..
had 2 small little accidents along da way.. one was on the road.. which i almost died? hahaha.. not that serious.. cldnt control moi bike.. den fell.. the funny thing was.. i only suffer minor cuts.. and bruise.. scary u noe.. haha.. some more da cars.. so big.. riding beside u.. makes u feel rather intimated.. u noe..
todae.. i msg him abt da accidents.. he.. instant replied me.. askin me to take care and sayang sayang me.. something he always do.. so i send him 2 msgs.. askin him why he woke up so earli.. and whether he nid to work anot.. todae.. is the first month after we broke off.. sighx.. does he remember? actuali.. there's no actual date also i guess.. i decided to call him.. he was sleepin.. i dun like the way he sound when u wake him up.. he wld b like wat wat.. i wanted to sae na ren.. i miss u.. but i cldnt sae.. i wanted to sound like it's a no big deal thing.. but he was like so frustrated.. so i said i had nothing to say to him.. den he ask abt the accident.. so i told him wat happen.. summarise version.. den he kept quiet.. i waited.. still no sound.. the line sound so dead.. in the end, i jus hang up without saying anything.. i'm sorry vin.. din mean to call u and disturb u.. but we haven been tokin for almost a wk.. tis wk.. i'm gettin better.. i didnt sms for almost 4 daes.. and if u include last wk's wkend.. wld be 6 daes.. record.. haha.. he stil care.. i wish he didnt.. wat if i die later?? hahaha.. nobodi noes wat wil happen durin da trip.. so i wanted to sae i miss u b4 i'm gone~ crap eh.. haha.. obviously i'll be alright.. haha.. cant wait for da night cycling.. haha.. but i'm too tired alreadi.. to carry on todae.. arghxx.. i've been waitin for dat like since nov?? it's a one day thing though.. we're gonna finish on sat mornin.. i wld probably nid to crawl home.. ahaha.. help...
i'm better without u huh?
my relationship with him.. the fondest memories were in sec sch.. i guess.. no matter how hard i'm gonna try.. things r never gonna be the same again..
u lie.. why? why did u have to lie to me right frm the beginning of our relationship? was the 6 months thing something u plan? i asked.. wat haf u done w her.. u said.. nothing.. not even holdin hands.. haha.. winnie saw.. remember? she tot dat was me.. but when u saw her.. u let go of "her"'s hand.. and "she" wasnt happy.. why did u have to lie? when i asked u abt it.. u denied.. all the way.. askin me for winnie's no. to confront.. u knew v well i wldnt gif u her no. and let u confront her rite.. and ur sis.. told me that u n her had a intimate photo.. which u even once set as wallpaper and let her see.. so wat's dat? i bet u took lots of photo w her.. didnt u.. why did u have to lie? wats wrong w saying wat u've done though it wld definitely upset me.. i wish i didnt noe.. mayb.. u even had a folder.. haha.. of her too.. jus like u had mine in ur hp.. i wonder wat's ur hp wallpaper now.. mine's jackjack.. u never wrote me a reali nice testi.. u had the time.. jus that u din wan to.. u said.. u wil look for dos who bully me.. but.. u're always the one.. haha.. ke bei..
mayb now.. u haf another gf le.. who knows rite? even when u're w her.. u stil care abt me.. so.. haha.. mayb now also..
i didnt see that guy.. heh.. i saw tis guy.. on da mrt on wed.. so i tot i wld see him again on da mrt on thurs.. kinda like him.. ahaha.. though sg's smaLL.. but.. u noe.. chances of meetin another r stil quite slim..
everywhere i went.. i wld b lookin out for him.. wonderin wat it wld be like if i reali see him.. mayb w another girl? no idea..
u have no idea wat i'm going thru.. u were never the one who get hurt most in the relationship.. u have no idea how hard it's gonna be for me to find another one to love.. though i haf crushes.. but i dont wanna get hurt again.. everything i did was becuz of u.. i changed.. for ur sake.. anime? since when i like to watch anime? comics? since when i even read them? u said u wld buy me the whole collection of first love.. 7 and 8 are out.. or was it 9? basketball? haha.. yes.. i used to play in primary school.. it was my cca for one yr or 2.. had lotsa fun w my gfs.. but after scoring a wrong goal.. i was.. embarrassed.. :'( totally man.. i was pretty good ok.. haha.. and den we can onli haf 1 cca.. i was a prefect and i had like 3 ccas?? haha.. they dont allow.. and bb was disband due to my teacher's injury.. so i gave up bb after dat.. dat incident affect me quite a bit though no one mention anything.. my teacher onli teased.. but it's a whole different issue when it's happening to u.. i took up bb again in jc.. when we broke off in jan.. i wanted to challenge him to bb.. if i win.. we'll continue.. ahaha.. how stupid eh.. bb had always been my fav. sport.. realiz.. but doing things in front of u.. makes me feel.. awkward.. i dun like the feeling of dat.. i remember.. i used to hate eating in front of u.. i've to watch every mouthful.. becuz i din wan to spoil the impression of me in u.. so.. i chose not to eat durin recess or rather sch.. i always felt that u r watchin every mouthful that i take.. misery.. ahah.. that's so silly of me rite! u were my serious bf.. haha.. mayb 10 yrs down the road.. i wld be laughin at everything that i've done for u..
gotta go sch alreadi.. wish me luck peeps! now gonna do some markins on da map thjey gave us.. hope i wont haf trouble recalling the route... i cant even remember the first 5 km.. btw, it's a 34km.. (o.o" amazed at myself..)
looking out at 12/10/2004 10:35:00 AM