jus reached home not long ago and am having suicidal thoughts looming in my head.

so how am i feeling now? terrible. jus let me type freely here. after all, TIS IS MY BLOG. so why shld i bother who's gonna read it or wat their reaction's gonna be?

he still din tell me how he fare for his o lvl tis time.. so i reckon, it's not good.. asked to meet up like now.. of cuz i knew he wld turn me down straight away.. i jus wanna get out of this bloody house NOW.. he told me his video is doNe.. so will i get to sEe how good his actin skills are?

first of all, congratulation sis! for scoring like 9 points for o level? of cuz i'm jealous she had done so well BUT i'm still proud of my little sis. however, wat upsets me most is she's probably gonna get a new phone. while i have to earn $$ to buy new phone. how fair is that? how come i didn't get any reward for scoring 13 points for o level? u mean that's not GOOD enough?! come on, YOU HAVE 3 KIDS. why is it that my sisters get to buy new phones when they requested while i dont?! why do i have to earn my own $$ and pay for it? i feel guilty for askin to buy me new phone for they arent necessary at tis stage.

i am so damn hurt. i've to go thru this again.. i dun wanna be responsible for anything anymore. i hate it. i hate my life.

Go On, Judge ME

i hate it when gale tok to me in that manner though i noe she don't mean it. i explained that i'm not in a good mood. however, she never say anything. so wat now? endure w her a few more wks and den it's bye gale, hello ____ (whoever that's gonna be my new classmate).

ok, i admit i am maybe bloody sensitive but i jus make a big fuss at home. cried in front my parents. slam my bedroom door. so can i be inconsiderate for once?

who r u all to judge who i am? or to perceive who i am from my reactions? it is true that i dont jus wanna be acquaintances with you ppl. but why does it sound so scary when i jus wanna be more than acquaintances but less than good friends that kind of friendship. is it impossible? i seriously doubt so. you people don't know how strong my friendship w X so why comment about me being harsh w her when she's as equally harsh w me? ultimately, i know that we're jus jokin w each other. i may be blind at times, so how come you cannot take the initivative to tap and say hi/bye? so am i suppose to blame myself for all these misunderstandings? or should i jus say that it's your fault. to be frank, i so wanna blame you people. i believe i do not have to explain every single action that i've made. so how can i improve our relationship when the impression will linger there forever? to you, i'm unreasonable. to her, i'm not. so who's comment should i care about? my friends. these are the people whom i can truly call MY friends.

why cant i have friends? one by one, my best friends became friends i've snatched from another. is that true? why does all these kinda have to happen again? i'm very tired already. so why don't we jus leave each other alone? be nice when u see me, jus smile and say hi. i believe tis wil save wat's remainin of our friendship.

(in tis context, you/people/whoever refers to others whom shall not be named)

i am so tired.. bye worLd.. i truly believe that my existence is insignificant.. lifes still goes on..