to papa and mama:

try and understand.. what i've gone thru.. don't tell me that times has changed and so there's a need for agnes to have a used hp (it used to belong to papa) at the age of 10+.. when i dont even haf one that belongs to me at the age of 15.. during our yr, havin a hp at sec1 maybe too young.. but as the need arises.. u still refuse to let me get one.. despite wanting to pay the full cost of it.. i understand that it was partly becuz of me.. that u decided to take away my line when it rightfully belongs to papa.. however, no one is using it.. so why not? u cld actually just change the plan or so on.. but u jus take away my hp.. my dog.. my internet.. simply becuz i was rebellious that time.. how did i deal w it? did u ever spare a tot wat all these meant to me? they were my communication tools.. u toook dem one by one away from me... even my dog.. whom i used to confide my problems in.. (well, i doubt he understand a single bit but i noe he listens)

mama, when i wanna hold ur hand.. i wan to feel connected from u.. i wanna feel like everyone else does.. able to tok to their moms.. abt anything.. but u shut me out of your world.. that sentence hurts a little.. when u ask me not to hold ur hand.. i always do that w my gfs.. i jus feel so ease w it.. it's a habit.. it takes courage to do that, mama.. u noe? esp when our family is so reserved.. so typical chinese family.. mama, do understand that sometimes i meant well for agnes.. i don't wan her to go thru wat i've been.. that period of time.. (at least i did nothing illegal..) i was jus stubborn... don't threaten.. talk nicely to me.. reason w me.. i hate people coming down harsh on me.. i'm still a child.. when i said i feel unloved when u onli care abt agnes.. i mean it.. i feel unloved at times.. in the past, papa showered these.. but now, jus becuz i'm old doesn't mean i don't need dem.. mama, i want u to listen to me.. talk abt my life.. tell me how to go on without him again.. mama, i will always bear in mind that sentence u said when he left me.. "he's not the only tree, in the forest.."


papa, why blow ur top at me? why ignore me when i said i am sad i failed my business statistics.. though u may not understand what that subject is.. i mentioned that it's math related subject.. papa, do u noe i always tot that my best subjects were maths and science? after all, i scored a1 for both during o lvl.. u were so proud of me.. weren't u? i had a choice.. poly or jc.. i wasn't left w no option.. papa, why give me cold shoulder at times? jus becuz i wanna reason w u that sometimes it may not jus be our fault.. i am not sayin that it IS ur fault or watsoever.. i jus wanna point out to u that now, time has changed.. i am growing up.. i have my own thinking.. whenever u failed to listen, it just hurts.. i am willing to open up.. but u aren't willing to listen.. silence.. that's what i hate most..


papa and mama.. please understand that i am sensitive.. i have emotions of my own.. i noe how to feel sad.. disappointed.. u never pin hopes on me.. a pass or fail means nothing.. i reali wanna do well.. i am not selfish like wat u tink... i reali wanna make my parents proud... pressurize me or something..


am i still your little girl? i don't wanna grow up.. i just wanna be ur little girl...