my nick kinda sound like i'm directing at a particular guy. of cuz no. there isn't reali any guy in my life right now..

mom said something when i wasn't at home.. so smart of her.. if she says when i'm home, i would definitely make a real huge fuss outta it.. it happen durin new yr.. i guess i'm jus being sensitive when i tot the onli reason why she dare to said it is becuz i wasn't at home..

she said.. all mothers love/dote the youngest most.. alright.. that's it.. i'm feeling the pain i tot i've forgotten 2 months ago.. it wasn't that hurtful when my sis and i were tokin abt it.. i even joke abt leaving home..

the home that i tot was perfect.. i noe there isn't by chance or anything that a i would haf a perfect home.. at least my dad works (dun smoke/drink; no real bad habits), my mom's a housewife (cook dinner everyday except sundays or public holidays; she felt that she has the right to haf "off" days and we're perfectly fine w that. do da household chores till earli mornin.. she's always the last to sleep.) my younger sis.. currently in vjc.. am so proud of her! (my sis walks in and i told her abt moi hurt.. she said: "well, u're the oldest and she's the youngest.. both gets dote.. wat abt me? who's there to dote on me?" i wanted so badly to sae.. i do! i care! i love u more than anything.. (other den bf lah..) so.. sad to sae.. she suffers from "middle child syndrome" my youngest sis? i always view her as someone who's naughty.. unreasonable.. she has real bad temper.. so? nobodi discipline her or anything.. why? cuz u two love her so much or simply can't be bothered? i'm fortunate.. my family jus so happens to be the lucky one.. nobodi smokes or gambles and land us in debts or so.. but i wan more.. something that u can give.. affection..

i read frm the newspaper yesterdae.. on something like how to win a girl or wat.. adults are attendin such session.. something abt the 3A's.. Attention, Affection and Affirmation.. tis is exactly wat i wanted.. but it is.. so hard to have dem all at the same time.. or for a long period..


tell me how can i not be upset by what u've said? it defnitely wasn't ur intention to hurt.. i jus can't let it go.. i wish u didn't admit.. after denyin so long that u love us equally.. i rather believe in that lie..